Well, I did it. I opened pandora's box. According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus, the king of the gods, took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus' brother Epimetheus. Pandora opened a jar left in his care containing sickness, death and many other unspecified evils which were then released into the world. Okay, not that pandora's box, but... a box I had packed away. A box filled my story of sickness and recovery.
There are actually two boxes I stored away. The one box - I wrapped in bright yellow ducktape to ensure I did not open it. I know myself so well. The box contains medical files, notes from the hospitals, and journals from when I was sick. I chose to open the box without the bright yellow caution tape. If I pack something away with a warning to myself, best heed my own advice and leave the contents of the box alone (that would have been pandora's box).
The journals I did uncover, from the time of my recovery, are from four years ago, almost to the date. These journals bring to mind something that was mentioned in a sermon recently. AQ - Adversity Quotient. Basically AQ is a measure used to determine the ability of a person to deal with adversities in life. After doing a little research of my own, I think this is something innate within you. Granted, life experiences and adversities will help you learn how to navigate such hardship and setbacks, but... I think, foundationally, it comes from deep within.
Simply put, AQ is resilence. It is thought people with high AQ have high endurance. This is thought to be true because those people are able to see the adversity they are facing is temporary; therefore they have the endurance to push through. Although my hospital stay was long and excruciating, it was not permanent and knowing that allowed me to push through. AQ allows you to recognize you have control over events and outcomes - just like KPT. Your thought-process, outlook and approach to the hurdles in life truly impact the outcome,
The amount of work I did when I was recovering! Holy Cow, y'all! It is so remarkable. I am not bragging on myself, I am actually taken aback. I did the work that I needed to do. It was a march, forging ahead in the name of gratitude. I contacted counselors, I researched programs, I started programs, I went to group sessions, I went to counseling sessions, I put in the work. I need to remember that. That was all me. Every single journal entry ended with me saying thank you! I was grateful. I am grateful. So very grateful.
I stand firm your brain is rewired while in ICU for extended periods of time. It changes you. How can it not change you? It would be a tragic shame to waste the second chance I am living right now. That is why I must keep pushing through. I must continue on my strive to help others keep pushing through. Now more than ever.
Whether or not you have a high AQ or even believe in AQ - keep pushing through. KPT is something you can get behind. We will get through this together. We have been given a gift if you haven't realized this yet. Life and time have slowed down and we are able to re-connect to what really matters, how brilliant is that? Just as I was four years ago - starting my life over, we can do that today. Maybe unpack a box that you've put away, look how far you've come and dream of where you might go!