What makes you uncomfortable? Politics. Religion. Sex. Sure, in certain settings, those would be items that make you uncomfortable. What about germs, personal space, body odor, sadness, fear, or even a group of people singing happy birthday to you. What about vomit, a crying baby on an airplane, the stock market crashing. Are you uncomfortable - experiencing discomfort? A lot of things make us uncomfortable - conversations, situations, even people can leave us with that not-so-good-feeling. The icks.
What about the good uncomfortable? Is that even a thing? Yes! There is beauty in that feeling of discomfort. I think the good uncomfortable allows us to become vulnerable and vulnerability opens us up to a whole new world of possibilities.
Vulnerability is defined by google as the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. Now that sounds pretty dramatic. I am not writing about anyone getting physically hurt or attacked, but that is what vulnerability can feel like.
Let me set the scene, a pizza joint, a large table of family and friends - loud and celebratory. I would say there was easily five, six or seven conversations going on at the same table at the same time. Without a plan, without any premeditated decision to do so, I decided to share my sobriety journey with a close friend. Sobriety was something we never discussed. Granted it never came up, but that is an art I mastered - not bringing it up. Still to this day, something I am quite good at. Nonetheless, in my three plus years of sobriety I had been engulfed in shame.,.until that night. For some reason, it was as if I had finally shed my skin and felt it was okay to share.
I thought this conversation would be the epitome of uncomfortable. That kind of uncomfortable I mentioned earlier, the icky - make it stop feeling. Not for one second did I feel uncomfortable. Not for one second did I feel judged. Not for one second did I feel unsafe. Actually, can I tell you how great I have felt since that night?
I feel stronger, more empowered, and actually quite proud of my journey. Do you know what happened that night? Nothing! I received nothing but love and support. I feel energized. I want to share my story. Write my story. And hopefully help someone walking the same path I was on. Working through shame is a daily endeavor, shame is another one of those beasts, the ones that hide out in the basement with depression and anxiety. But I can tell you, after setting my intention for 2019 and honesty - I think unconsciously, it's working!
I am going to embrace vulnerability. I am going to be honest. I am going to be kind. I am going to allow this energy to give my direction. I am going to keep pushing through. What story do you have within you? What story would you like to share?