I am plagued with a question tonight. Do I really own my story?
I am in my second semester of Bible Study at church. The class is named Essentials and it is exactly that - a thing that is absolutely necessary. Air. Water. It is like Faith - Church - Spirituality 101. It. Is. Perfect. It is exactly what I need. The perfect mix of research, reading, lecture and discussion. Along with a random mix of ladies that were not accidentally placed together.
There is a fascinating dynamic emerging and I am so happy it is one I am experiencing sober. With the sober glow comes so much honesty and clarity. In class we have been talking a lot about grace and truth. John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." Y'all read that again! FULL OF GRACE AND TRUTH! If that doesn't resonate with me right now and keep pushing through - I don't know what does. Grace was my word for 2018 and Honest is my word for 2019. Come on now!
I call that a nod from God when things align - some say it is a God Wink, some say it's just plain old coincidence. Anyway, with the past couple weeks focused on grace and truth and time to share your story; at church; you kinda, 100%, have to be honest.
The reason I say it is a fascinating dynamic is because you can truly see these ladies, myself included, baby step a little more with each story. It is when you are on your tip toes in the swimming pool, right there in the middle, between the shallow end and the deep end of the pool. You bounce a little bit deeper, a little bit further on your tippy toes. You say a word and wait for the reaction, that judgement, that approval. Divorce. Fight. Gay. Disagreement. But as we all open up, it is so darn beautiful. We are all slowly treading every so carefully into the deep ends of our story. And you know what is even more beautiful, there is no reaction - there is no judgement - only acceptance.
By putting aside everything you think your story should be. You put aside any shame, any guilt, any regret any resentment and you dig deep. You realize, I am brave yet vulnerable. I am supportive yet kind. I am courageous while being honest. Yes, I heard it too, that sounded a bit like the famous quote from The Help - you is kind, you is smart, you is important. But it is true.
Try and push yourself a little bit further into the deep end. I despised swimming lessons when I was little, but, pushing through the fear, it forced me to eventually swim to the deep end. Try it - you might be surprised what strength, bravery, and courage is within you! As long as it comes from a place of truth, with a little grace - you can't go wrong! Keep Pushing Through.